I’m feeling like a robot. Detached and distant from the world. I feel this way frequently, but it’s especially strong now. My emotional processor has shut down, I turned it off (just flipped the switch). It may have been malfunctioning, I shall have to investigate.

Why would I want to leave something on that’s hurting me, doing damage to the rest of my system? Shutting it off makes sense. Just before I flipped the switch it was stuck sputtering the same garbled output over and over: I need a hug. It sounded rediculous. I didn’t even manage to shut it off before it activated the tear ducts, so I’m still cleaning that mess up.

One wonders why I would ever turn the emotion processor back on. The problem is, with it on I am able to experience friendship and love and enjoy it rather than simply work through it. The unfortunate fact of the matter is, the only people I really do enjoy being around are also the only ones who ever drive me to flip the switch and shut the whole thing off.

So now I am a robot again. Cool, precise, emotion free. I have a mess to clean. Perhaps someone will soon inspire me to turn it back on. Perhaps not. Robots don’t need to speculate about the future. It’s all the same to a robot.


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September 2008
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